Halloween is fast approaching, and now is the perfect time to get some extra use out of your potential costume. If you don’t get what I’m hinting at, I’m talking about the art and practice of sexual role play. Maybe it being an art form is debatable for some of you, but I definitely see it that way now after years of being terrified of doing it. 

Get Out Of Your Own Head

Before I genuinely tried role playing, I wrote off role play as something incredibly cheesy. I hated the thought of facing someone and seriously having to act in front of them. I was scared, intimidated, and worried that I would embarrass myself if I said something wrong or didn’t make my character convincing enough in front of my partner. 

My failed attempts in the beginning were failures because I was too in my head. Instead of just having a positive attitude, I went into the experience full of anxiety and doubt. I treated it like a joke as a means of self-defense, and that’s what it became for my partner at the time. He and I couldn’t successfully pull off the various scenarios we tried, and after we broke up I just gave up on it entirely for a few years.

I was convinced to give it a second go with someone I was casually dating, who was desperate to do a step-daughter/step-father scenario. Very taboo. Very intriguing.

I convinced myself that I should stop living in fear, and just do it. I didn’t want to forever close myself off from something that could greatly elevate my sexual experience. It wasn’t my ideal scenario, but I pulled it off.

What was different this time was my level of confidence in myself. I didn’t overthink it, which ended up making my acting a lot easier. Here’s the thing- the acting during role play doesn’t have to be great. My partner’s sure wasn’t. Getting tripped up over details like that will only make role play seem like something too ambitious to accomplish. If that were the case, the only people that would actually be allowed to role play during sex would be Meryl Streep and Daniel Day Lewis (which I would love to see).

Here's some inspiration to get you started.

To get the most out of this Halloween, I give you these costume ideas that would also make for great role play scenarios, should you want to get the most out of your buck.

1. Republican/Democrat 

Tensions are always high between the two warring parties, but this year especially feels like animosity has reached a high point between the two. It’s that kind of animosity that could make for some incredibly raunchy sex. The kind that would get a liberal seeing red and a conservative experiencing blue balls (sorry, I tried). It could be a great way to release anger towards the state of our government as well. You know, if you’re feeling extra kinky. 

2. Student/Teacher 

It’s a classic for a reason. Morally corrupt, and fun as hell. Have fun with this scenario by ad libbing about not having finished your homework and needing extra credit. If you’re the teacher, you can come up with some incredibly creative extra credit activities. The whole point of a fantasy is that it’s something you’d likely never do in real life. Dress up in your skimpiest school girl or nerdy teacher outfit and make use of a desk if you have one. 

3. Boss/Employee 

Similar to the teacher and student scenario, sex between a boss and an employee has similar power dynamics happening, but is less taboo. You still wouldn’t want to get caught though. Meaning, your scene can be just as fun and raunchy. You’ve seen Secretary, haven’t you? Wear business attire, hair in a bun, and maybe have a clipboard in hand.

4. Masseuse/Client 

This is one of my favorites, because it includes getting a massage (if you’re the client). Massages are incredibly sensual if done right, and playing the role of an innocent client who has no idea what’s about to go down can make the experience so much more sensual. Wear nothing but a towel, or regular attire.

5. Strangers 

Classic. Pretend you don’t know one another and introduce yourselves at a party, or bar. You can be honest about who you are, or you can completely make up your name, job, age, etc. Become a whole new person to your partner, and they’ll do the same to you. It’ll be like a Tinder date, but better. Wear whatever you want. If you’re creating a new character for yourself, perhaps you should try wearing clothing you normally never wear. Invent a new style for yourself. This could be a great excuse to buy yourself a new outfit.