Sex

Rimming AKA eating ass: a beginner's guide

By Maya Khamala

Did you know there are countless erotic nerve endings located at the anal opening? Good morning.

Rimming is the act of using one’s tongue to stimulate one’s partner's anus for sexual pleasure. AKA analingus, ass eating, butt munching, and biting the peach (among a litany of other poetic descriptors), rimming is a great way to get acquainted with anal play. Let’s face it, if you do anal anything right, it can be mindblowingly good—a sort of pervy paradise realm. Whatever you call it, much like any other sexual act, you shouldn’t do it unless you feel inspired to, or else you may get tripped the F out, or not enjoy it, or be unimpressed. But before you hop to it, there is crucial rimming wisdom to be acquired if you want it to be a mutually positive and arousing sexperience.

Here, I humbly offer you 6 rimming tips for an uninhibited, safe, and life-altering turn-on of a time.

1. Make sure you’re both into it

Whether you’re giving or receiving, into-it-ness is everything. The person receiving needs to feel aroused, comfortable, not self-conscious or worried they didn’t have time to shower, or paranoid about their gassiness. And the person giving needs to feel turned on at the prospect of wetting their partner's asshole with their tongue, not grossed out, uncomfortable, or pressured into it. As always, consent is continual and important for everyone involved. 

2. Be obscene, but be clean

When it comes to rimming, it's always wise to be a bit more cautious about hygiene. The receiver should make sure they don’t have to poo (get it all out first so it doesn’t opt for an untimely exit), and wash thoroughly, but I wouldn't bother with anything so involved as an enema unless you have/are a partner with a passion for tongue fucking, because many people keep it on the outside, and that’s still hawt. Also, it never hurts if the giver rinses out their mouth too, since spicy food, caffeine, alcohol, or cigarettes can all be irritating to the overall genital area. Just sayin’. 

3. Technique and exploration

Rimming is rarely a standalone act. A lot of people incorporate it into oral. “Just scootch your mouth down a little further next time you’re going down on someone. Tease them a little with the end of your tongue to get started,” says George, founder of gender neutral sex toy line hicurious. While there’s no right way to lick your lover’s anus, you might try flattening your tongue and landing long, slow licks which travel from the perineum all the way to the top of the butt. Or swirl the tip in a circle around the opening, or flick the tip up and down, or lick up one side of the anus in a semicircle, and then do the same to the other side. Don’t be afraid to improvise, since you most of what you do in this area is gonna feel real good. If your partner is the one giving, don’t hesitate to give feedback. Any good explorer shares honest truths, you know you’ll be happy you did.

4. Health and safety

It’s important to know that it is possible to catch STIs or become ill from digestive bacteria like E. coli through rimming, which makes doing it without protection unsafe. If you’re not in a sexual relationship wherein both (or all) parties have been thoroughly tested and are committed to keeping one another safe, consider using a dental dam. If you don’t have one, you can also turn a glove into a dental dam, which enables the giver to slide their tongue into the thumb, allowing for even more, um, options. Also, for goddess’ sake, no moving from ass to pussy—whether with tongue, fingers, sex toy, or penis—because that’s a great way to get a vaginal infection. The other way around is fine, but even the smallest trace of butt stuff in or near your poom poom can disrupt its delicate balance. Mainstream porn you see that disregards this often edits out all the cleaning up they do behind the scenes.

5. Find the right position(s)

While there is no right position for rimming or being rimmed, it’s worth trying out different ones to explore what feels best for both of you. One of the most common rimming positions has the receiver on their back with a pillow under their hips and their knees up to their chest—served up like a gourmet dish. This gives optimal access, particularly if the receiver is on a bed and the giver is kneeling on a cushion on the floor. You can try the same thing from behind too, with the receiver on their elbows and knees, or standing up and bent over the bed. Then there’s the option of the receiver straddling and indeed riding the giver’s face with their ass. It all depends on what works for your combined comfort levels and bodies.

6. No expectation, no obligation

Rimming can be enjoyed all on its own or as foreplay to any other sexual act that you and your partner are digging in that moment. But know this: going to Rim Town does not mean you need to want to have penetrative anal sex. Nor does it mean you have consented to anything but rimming. Nor does it mean you can’t stop whenever you want to. Also, because this is an issue for some (men, oftentimes), know that it’s perfectly kosher to enjoy anal pleasure, and it doesn’t say anything about your sexual orientation. Straight guys like their ass licked too! It’s also copacetic to try it, not enjoy it at all, and never go there again. It doesn’t make you a prude—it just means you have preferences. Last, but most certainly not least, it’s also hunky dory if you love receiving but hate giving (or vice versa), as long as your partner is down with that arrangement too. Sizzling hot sex, brought to you by committed communication.

Because we all deserve to have hot sex and love it. Here's to your ongoing exploration.

 

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