You log on to Instagram, and there it is – the incontrovertible fact that your boyfriend double-tapped an IG model’s photo. A model with thinner legs, a bigger butt, and eyes so doe-like you wonder if she starred in Bambi

Social media these days is enough to make any woman insecure. You are subjected to this constant stream of images of people who are Professionally Hot. To make matters worse, your boyfriend or partner is subjected to them too. Before you know it, you start wondering ‘Does he think I’m good enough? What if he’s secretly comparing me to that one Victoria’s Secret model he follows?’ Relax, take a deep breath, and read on. 


Likes rarely mean anything 

Think about some of the stuff you ‘liked’ on Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram today. That photo of your friend’s plant pot in monochrome. A screenshot of a text from somebody’s mother. Those baby pics (that, frankly speaking, weren’t all that cute). Did you think deeply, did you self-reflect, did you stare at the picture for ages before smashing that Fav? 

Probably not, right? You were just scrolling mindlessly, and decided to like a picture in your feed. Well, that’s probably what your boyfriend is doing too, when he liked those pictures of ‘IG baddies.’ Liking a picture doesn’t mean he’s DMing the subject, telling her he’s in love with her and begging her to run away with him to Vegas! Relax, girl. Stop lurking the Discover tab, trying to find proof of something like you’re Lara Croft. There is no deeper meaning there, trust. 

We are our own harshest critics 

When it comes to making ourselves feel bad, women are the experts. We can pull up the most stunning, gorgeous picture of ourselves and examine it with a magnifying glass in hand for the slightest blemish. “Well, my calf muscles look a shade too pronounced in this photograph…I might as well just accept the fact that I’ll never be beautiful.” 

Don’t. Seriously. Stop right there. Remember that you are a goddess, and that your boyfriend – the poor schmuck- is almost certainly trying to have sex with you no matter what. He wants to have sex with you in the morning, when you have morning breath and your cellulite is plainly obvious in the light. He wants to have sex with you at night, when you are in pyjamas and Netflixing. If you asked him to have sex with you when you’re still covered in sweat from the gym…well, he probably wouldn’t turn you down then either! Be kinder to yourself, your body deserves it. 


Consider curating your feed- or even deleting some apps 

Seeing pictures of models or social media influencers in perfect makeup and lighting (which, remember, have been digitally altered and airbrushed to perfection) can be damaging to your self-esteem, because they all look the same. Thin, white, with seemingly impossible curves. Pay attention to what makes you feel bad- try and limit your exposure to these women. Unfollow all the Kardashian-Jenners right now

Follow different types of people, with different types of bodies. Follow brown and black women who match your skin tone. Follow plus-size women. Follow beautiful people who are bucking societal conventions of beauty. Follow plants and cute animal accounts instead of people, if that’s what it takes to make you feel serene. 

Consider that if any social media app makes you feel truly bad about yourself, it might be time to delete it. After all, what will you truly miss? (Your friends will still be on all the other social media apps, making sure you see their baby’s picture album.) Let some things go and feel yourself become immeasurably lighter. 

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