You should be writing erotica- even if it's just for yourself
Writing erotica for yourself can help you to create more awareness of what you personally find sensual, sexy, and a turn-on. We live in a sex-shaming culture that often prevents women, particularly, from exploring what actually turns them on. Our fantasies are often confined to incomplete snippets and images in our heads. Externalizing these fantasies through writing gives us the time and space to let our sexual energy grow and flow more freely. It allows us to step into our own sexual power and confidence.
Writing is a great step between fantasy and reality. When you pull things out of your mind and put them into real, visible words on paper, it gives you a chance to expand your sexuality by bringing to life desires that you may not have consciously and intentionally explored yet.
Alright, so how do you do this? How do you jump in and start writing your own smut?
Reading some good erotica will get you comfortable with the language of the genre and is good inspiration for different scenarios, characters, and sex acts to include in your own writing. Don’t know where to find good erotica? Check out Bellesa’s extensive offering of quick and long reads about everything from cute meetups in coffee shops to bondage scenes to boys kissing boys and girls kissing girls.
Additionally, seek out erotica on topics that you are interested in. This can help you begin to visualize what form you’d like that specific desire to take in your life. For example, you may be interested in exploring kink, sensation play, queer attractions, group sex...whatever it is, reading about it first can help give you permission to use your own imagination and creativity when you start writing.
Pick a fantasy and just start!
The key to writing erotica for yourself is to realize you need absolutely zero skills or qualifications to do it. All you need is a pen, paper, and a fantasy that you find compelling. Start by creating a list of some scenarios that are a turn on for you. To get good material, you can fill out ideas for the following categories:
Hottest hookups I’ve experienced in real life
Flirtations that never went anywhere
My go-to fantasies
Sex acts I fantasize about but am not sure I’d do in real life
Total fiction: Sexy scenarios that have nothing to do with my real life (Elves? Interstellar sexcapades? A sexy princess of a foreign land? Go for it.)
Whatever is on your mind right now
Now look through your list, pick whichever idea stands out to you most and start writing!
Embrace bad writing
Once you pick up the pen, think foreplay- not homework assignment. You are not writing erotica for a grade. Your English teacher will not return your manuscript with red marks and comments about your unrealistic dialogue. You’re writing to make yourself wet. That writing might be really bad. That’s ok. It's for you.
If you want to jump into describing a sex scene without explaining how any of the characters got into the bedroom, by all means, do that. If it feels fun and sexy to write a more fully formed story that starts out with the characters first noticing each other and slowly progressing toward a steamy exchange, feel free to do that as well! However, if you put too much pressure on yourself to create a story that has a full plot, scene changes, and character development, you risk ending up feeling more stressed than satisfied.
Pay attention to your body
Writing erotica for yourself is an in-the-moment experience. Of course you can always keep your best pieces to read later, but recording your fantasies on paper is a wonderful way to turn yourself on in real time. As you are writing, check in with your body and your thoughts. Is this feeling good? Where am I feeling warmth or sensation? What do I want to happen next on the page? How can I increase the tension and the anticipation in this scene? Writing also slows down your thoughts a little bit and can create a delicious sense of waiting as you watch your desire unfold on the paper.
Writing erotica can sound a little daunting at first. If you notice shame or embarrassment bubbling up, remember, your desires are normal! They are good and hot and healthy. If you get stuck, give yourself permission to write the word pussy ten times in a row and you’ll find how easy it is to get into the flow. Enjoy those dirty drafts, bbs!